What I want for Christmas, dammit
posted by bitchphd
Inspired by a thread about crappy gifts people have received, over at Unfogged, here is a fantasy list.
1. Someone to come to my house and sort through shit and get rid of all the stuff that's half-broken, no longer fits, or doesn't ever get used. Preferably by donating it all to people who will use it, or by recycling it, but I won't ask any questions if you just get it out of my life.
2. Someone to follow up that task by tidily storing the crap that we do sort of need to keep but don't need very often (e.g., holiday decorations, sentimental family stuff).
3. Someone very generous and with good taste to go shopping with me and buy me a decent wardrobe, as most of my nice clothes are now old enough that they look pretty shabby and/or are too dry-clean-only for my present lifestyle. Honestly, this is like a fantasy of mine, but without step 1, at least, its would be almost pointless. I've sort of gotten to the point where I no longer remember what I own or where it is.
4. To replace the two very nice antique chairs that we use every day in the t.v. room with like a nice couch or something, because our using them is causing them to age really quickly. I am afraid--and believe me, the bourgeoisity of this annoys me, but what can you do?--that the chair that belonged to great-grandma and the gorgeous modern rocking chair that I bought for PK's babyhood really both need to be "occasional" use chairs, mostly for looking at. Sigh.
5. Two nice 3 qt-ish saucepans to replace the crappy Revereware Mr. B. won't let me throw away. Also, the 15-year old stand mixer needs replacing. Exciting shit, eh?
6. To actually *want* to quit smoking, b/c I've promised PK I'll quit by my birthday, but I really don't want to.
God, I've become so boring. What kind of stuff do you secretly wish for?
1. Someone to come to my house and sort through shit and get rid of all the stuff that's half-broken, no longer fits, or doesn't ever get used. Preferably by donating it all to people who will use it, or by recycling it, but I won't ask any questions if you just get it out of my life.
2. Someone to follow up that task by tidily storing the crap that we do sort of need to keep but don't need very often (e.g., holiday decorations, sentimental family stuff).
3. Someone very generous and with good taste to go shopping with me and buy me a decent wardrobe, as most of my nice clothes are now old enough that they look pretty shabby and/or are too dry-clean-only for my present lifestyle. Honestly, this is like a fantasy of mine, but without step 1, at least, its would be almost pointless. I've sort of gotten to the point where I no longer remember what I own or where it is.
4. To replace the two very nice antique chairs that we use every day in the t.v. room with like a nice couch or something, because our using them is causing them to age really quickly. I am afraid--and believe me, the bourgeoisity of this annoys me, but what can you do?--that the chair that belonged to great-grandma and the gorgeous modern rocking chair that I bought for PK's babyhood really both need to be "occasional" use chairs, mostly for looking at. Sigh.
5. Two nice 3 qt-ish saucepans to replace the crappy Revereware Mr. B. won't let me throw away. Also, the 15-year old stand mixer needs replacing. Exciting shit, eh?
6. To actually *want* to quit smoking, b/c I've promised PK I'll quit by my birthday, but I really don't want to.
God, I've become so boring. What kind of stuff do you secretly wish for?
Posted at 7:35 PM
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