Jerry Fell. Well?
posted by bitchphd
I started the day full of hatred. 
But then I heard the news that Jerry Falwell had dropped dead, and my mind turned to higher things. Like the nature of "god" and "evil." And what message God could possibly be sending us by smiting Jerry down. We know the Lord moves in mysterious ways, so there's got to be some twisted counter-intuitive meaning. Was Jerry killed to punish the feminists and homosexuals? Or is his death intended to demonstrate our evil nature as we refuse to bow down in sorrow? Perhaps it signals God's disapproval of Congress for trying to end the War on Iraqi Terrorism. Could He be punishing America for voting Democratic in the last election? Maybe Jerry's death is meant as a warning to Mexico City for having recently decriminalized abortion? Or to the Vatican for having pulled back on the Pope's statement that pro-choice politicians excommunicate themselves? It might be a premonition of worse to come if Hillary wins the Democratic nomination. It could be a sign to Bush that his recent move to acknowledge the existence of greenhouse gases violates God's will. Or perhaps it's to punish Alberto Gonzales for criticizing his second in command instead of standing up for the administration's god-given right to fire anyone who is not enthusiastic enough about doing the Lord's work. Perhaps instead it's a warning to the World Bank to stop being mean to Wolfowitz. So many possibilities!
If only Jerry were here to tell us.
But then I heard the news that Jerry Falwell had dropped dead, and my mind turned to higher things. Like the nature of "god" and "evil." And what message God could possibly be sending us by smiting Jerry down. We know the Lord moves in mysterious ways, so there's got to be some twisted counter-intuitive meaning. Was Jerry killed to punish the feminists and homosexuals? Or is his death intended to demonstrate our evil nature as we refuse to bow down in sorrow? Perhaps it signals God's disapproval of Congress for trying to end the War on Iraqi Terrorism. Could He be punishing America for voting Democratic in the last election? Maybe Jerry's death is meant as a warning to Mexico City for having recently decriminalized abortion? Or to the Vatican for having pulled back on the Pope's statement that pro-choice politicians excommunicate themselves? It might be a premonition of worse to come if Hillary wins the Democratic nomination. It could be a sign to Bush that his recent move to acknowledge the existence of greenhouse gases violates God's will. Or perhaps it's to punish Alberto Gonzales for criticizing his second in command instead of standing up for the administration's god-given right to fire anyone who is not enthusiastic enough about doing the Lord's work. Perhaps instead it's a warning to the World Bank to stop being mean to Wolfowitz. So many possibilities!If only Jerry were here to tell us.
Posted at 11:29 AM
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