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Sunday, June 04, 2006


posted by bitchphd
Blogging is a funny thing. Hell, the internet is a funny thing. You read things, written by people, and you develop this sense of an author, and you develop feelings for this sense of an author, and you become fond of people you've never met because of the things they write. And if you write things too, they read what you write, and maybe they become fond of you. And then maybe you become friends with total strangers, sometimes people whose real names you don't know. Sometimes you meet them and find out their real names, and then you maybe become sort of kind of friends in real life, too; friendly acquaintances at least. But online, you're friends, if barely acquainted.

And sometimes things happen to those author functions. And sometimes you're really pleased, like an author function might have a kid. Or take a vacation. Or get a good job, or quit a bad one.

And sometimes really bad things happen to those author functions, and then you worry. And maybe you even cry. And you write to them and say you're really sorry for their troubles, and you really are. And maybe you even pray for them, which feels like a really stupid thing to say because you don't really believe that prayer does a goddamned thing, you don't really believe in The Big Cloud Guy Who Does Us Favors, but at the same time you do believe, somehow, that caring about people is important, and that putting those feelings into words is important, even if no one ever reads or hears those words.

And really, it's not so crazy to pray for an author function, since in a way the whole concept of god is itself an author function. (You can find out what an author function is, in case you don't know, here.)

I know an author function who created a place I really love to hang out with other author functions, who I consider friends. He has a new blog now. He has cancer. He's praying to live. I'm praying he will too, because he is one of the internet author functions I care about the most. His new blog is amazing. I care about him because he's a fucking good writer, but also because he is a friend. We've had fights and we've made up, even, despite having never met. He made me cry once, and now, damnit, he's made me cry again.

I really, really, really hope he's going to be okay. If you're so inclined, I'd appreciate it if you'd pray for him.
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