I'll probably regret this

The emerging discussion about "conservative" vs. "liberal" leanings in the previous thread is really interesting. One comment, though, makes me kinda sad:

There are likely far more conservative readers than you suspect--they've just learned over time to keep their comments to themselves.

I wonder if we could talk a little bit about what, in today's political climate, we mean by labels like "conservative" and "liberal"--both as we apply them to others, and as we apply them to ourselves. What are the stereotypes? How do people feel about them? What would we like one another to understand better? And what could we do, on this blog at least, to not make well-intentioned, reasonable people feel they need to keep their comments to themselves?

We all know about the straw feminist: but what about the straw conservative, or the straw Christian, or the straw liberal? We've all seen appalling idiocy put forth under one label or another; but isn't appalling idiocy really just appalling idiocy? And if so, what happens when we refuse to concede to appalling idiots the label that they're claiming to represent?

So, for instance, a number of people have said that this is a liberal feminist blog. Basically, that's true; I skew "liberal" in the sense we now use it on things like social issues, civil rights, and economics. But in fact, as a lot of progressives on the left will be quick to point out, being liberal on economics isn't all that different from the status quo--basically it just means "yay capitalism, but sometimes we gotta regulate to keep folks from getting out of control." My feminism is largely second wave (classical liberal), with a bit of third wave consciousness thrown in (i.e., "wait, what about women of color? Oh, and is there room for traditionally femmey sex roles within a feminist agenda?").

I am a pretty conservative personality type: I'm cautious about change and have to think things through pretty darn carefully before I embrace a new position (which is why I argue so strenuously). After all, I am married, I do want to figure out how to integrate femmeyness into feminism, I like the creature comforts of the developed world, and for fuck's sake, I have a Ph.D., which you only get if you decide pretty young to stick with something you already know you're good at, rather than going off and trying something new.

I'm radically pro-choice, obviously, because I view pregnancy and motherhood as really important things; but I'm also instinctively Catholic, and yeah, I do think that in a perfect world motherhood wouldn't be a handicap to women and we would be able to view creating life as an entirely positive thing. Then again, I'm pragmatic as hell: it ain't a perfect world, and it ain't never gonna be--that's kinda the point of Catholicism--which is why I get so irked with the Church's current tendency to want to legislate morality. Didn't we Catholics invent confession for a reason?

Where I wonder about classical liberalism is on things like individual rights and the practical realities of capitalism and middle-class standards of living. I think that in some ways, we Americans have made a fetish of individualism to the point of forgetting the importance of our social responsibilities and social pleasures. For instance, the rhetoric about "personal responsibility" w/r/t common, nearly universal human needs really pisses me off: most people have kids, everyone needs health care, no one wants to be poor, everyone needs social services. I think there's a tension in the "liberal" model of individual rights when it comes to collective needs. We seem to have somehow lost the ability to talk about contributions, about being part of a group, except in negative ways. But what about the pleasures and pride of helping, of contributing, of being part of a community or a country? What about the feeling of camaraderie involved in, say, good-humoredly saying to a fussy child in a coffeeshop, "now, stop making things hard for your poor mama" instead of giving poor mama the evil eye? What about the pleasure--far too occasional in American life--of having to take care of some bureaucratic necessity and waiting with people from completely different walks of life, folks you seldom see in your daily rounds, and having an enjoyable conversation with someone new? I remember childhood vaccinations that way, and I still have pleasant nostalgic feelings of fellowship in those occasional bureaucratic moments: voting, health clinics, public schools. Hell, even griping with the other folks on jury duty about the tediousness of waiting can be convivial, if you think about it.

It seems to me that both liberals and conservatives are worried about this selfishness in American public life, though the popular rhetoric offers us different "solutions" to the problem. For me, a moment of clarity came when I was on a road trip several months ago with Pseudonymous Kid, flipping through radio stations trying to find something to listen to. Blah blah classic rock, yuck, blah blah adult easy listening, yuck, blah blah. Suddenly talk radio was even more offensive--I didn't want PK to hear people demonizing one another, that tone of outrage. I found a rap station, which normally I'd settle on, but after a minute or so realized that while I can brush off the language in a lot of popular rap, I didn't want to have to explain to PK what the singers were saying, thanks.

In the end, I settled on a Christian radio station that was playing hymns and gospel music. And I suddenly realized, you know, I've got a lot in common with conservative Christians who object to popular culture--and in fact, so do most of the liberals I know, those of us who don't buy our kids guns, who prefer wooden toys to Toys R A Plastic Nightmare, who buy our kids little aprons so that they can "play" by "helping" in the kitchen. We might disagree in some of the details, sure; I find Veggie Tales sappy, and I know that PK's long hair probably bugs some people. But we agree, I assume, that public playgrounds are a great thing, and we're all thankful for waiters who bring extra napkins with the water glasses.

So. The readers of this blog are a pretty diverse group, actually. And mostly, I hope, more interested in discussion and conversation than in simply reinforcing prejudices (our own, or other people's). And we all know that the current political climate is a fucking nightmare. What do you believe? Where do we overlap? Where do we differ, and why, and what does that mean? And what in heaven's name do we have in common?

And can we manage to talk about all without taking offense, or being offensive?