Pseudonymous Kid, literary critic

Scene: It is bedtime, and I have just finished reading "The Walrus and the Carpenter."

Pseudonymous Kid: Awww! Mama, why did they eat all the oysters? That's so sad!
Me: Well, that's what Alice thought, too.
Pseudonymous Kid: I hate that story.
Me: Ok, I'm sorry. We won't read it again. Let's read the story about the dormouse, ok?
Pseudonymous Kid: No! No more of these stories. What happens to the dormouse?
Me: They don't eat him. They put him in a teapot.
Pseudonymous Kid: (Laughs) Pfft! Why do they do that?
Me: Because he's always falling asleep, and also because they're a little bit crazy.
Pseudonymous Kid: No, I don't want to hear that story. Read me the one about the oysters again.
Me: But I thought you didn't like it because it was sad!
Pseudonymous Kid: (As if explaining to a child.) Well, mama. It's only a story. It doesn't really happen. And plus, there are several oysters still in the ocean.

(A few minutes later)
Me: "... A loaf of bread, the walrus said, is what we chiefly need,"
Pseudonymous Kid: Awwww! Do some of the oysters get away?
Me: (Taking my cue.) Yes. Some of the oysters ran away, very quickly.
Pseudonymous Kid: Why?
Me: Because they didn't want to be eaten.
Pseudonymous Kid: Where did they run to?
Me: Back to the ocean.
Pseudonymous Kid: Okay. Read the rest, then.
Me: "...they'd eaten every one."
Pseudonymous Kid: The walrus and the carpenter were mean.
Me: Yes, that's what Alice said.
Pseudonymous Kid: Ok, read me the story about the dormouse now.