Why parental consent for abortion is bullshit
posted by bitchphd
Scott Lemieux over at Lawyers, Guns and Money points to a sobering piece over at World O'Crap on Randall Terry's inevitable entry into L.G.'s legal battle to make her own goddamn decision about whether or not she's ready to have a baby. Terry's arguments are beneath despicable, though that doesn't mean that he and his puppet Jeb Bush won't succeed in dragging this fucking case out long enough to force L.G. to give birth, like they did a retarded woman who had been raped a couple of years ago. But even well-meaning lefty types are prone to get their heads turned by the argument that a 13yo girl should have a parent figure (or the state) looking out for her "best interest" because, as a child, she is unlikely to know it herself.*
Now, I think this is a ridiculous argument. First of all, I see no way in which a thirteen year old, in this country at this time, who wants not to have a child, can reasonably be said not to be demonstrating that she knows her own best interest. Hell, any minor child who wants an abortion, frankly: having a baby when you're under 18 is not an easy thing to do. So I don't really get why people think that deciding to have an abortion, if you are a minor, could possibly not be in a young woman's best interest. It seems very clear to me that this "the child's best interest" argument is a very weak rationalization for "I think abortion is bad."
On the other hand, I am not going to say that a young woman should be forced to have an abortion, because I do happen to know a lot of young women who decided to carry pregnancies to term, and I absolutely think that there is not a goddamn thing wrong with that, either. The main problems young single mothers run into have little to do with their own abilities, and a lot to do with running into prejudice and punishment at every turn. I think that the same prejudice that tsk tsks at young mothers, denies them financial support, kicks them out of school, thinks of them as whores and fools and "bad mothers" simply because they are poor and young, is behind the sitting in judgment over young women like LG, who want not to have babies yet. In other words, basically, we all think that "young girls shouldn't be having sex" and that therefore, if they do, they must be punished. If they decide to have abortions, we think that should be made as difficult as possible; if they decide not to have abortions, we think that should be made as difficult as possible.
Well, fuck all that bullshit. The fact of the matter is, young girls do sometimes get pregnant. It happens. Abortion is legal, having children is legal. Butt the fuck out and let these girls decide what to do for themselves, and if you're so goddamn concerned about it, offer to help. Advocate for providing financial support to single moms; advocate for young women's right to continue their education, even if they have children; argue with people who cluck cluck about young mothers; don't assume that every young woman you see with a little kid is a big sister or a nanny (and don't assume that, if she's the mama, that that's an awful pity); if you know a young woman who has a kid, offer to babysit once in a while. If she decides that adoption is the way she wants to go, support her in that (and don't pretend that it's an easy decision, going through forty weeks of pregnancy, with everyone treating you like a social pariah, risking your health and changing your body, only to give up the child you've borne at the end of the process, possibly never to see it again).
And for god's sake, if a thirteen-year old kid decides, "hey, I'm not up for all that," don't argue with her.
* Here, by the way, is another good piece Scott wrote about why our pie-in-the-sky idealism about parental notification laws doesn't actually work.
Update: Here's another piece by a formerly pro-life woman who carried a pregnancy to term and feels, well, a little justifiably angry at the Christian treatment she got for doing so. She also addresses that pesky distinction between "I'm not comfortable with abortion in X circumstance" and "mind your own goddamn business."
Now, I think this is a ridiculous argument. First of all, I see no way in which a thirteen year old, in this country at this time, who wants not to have a child, can reasonably be said not to be demonstrating that she knows her own best interest. Hell, any minor child who wants an abortion, frankly: having a baby when you're under 18 is not an easy thing to do. So I don't really get why people think that deciding to have an abortion, if you are a minor, could possibly not be in a young woman's best interest. It seems very clear to me that this "the child's best interest" argument is a very weak rationalization for "I think abortion is bad."
On the other hand, I am not going to say that a young woman should be forced to have an abortion, because I do happen to know a lot of young women who decided to carry pregnancies to term, and I absolutely think that there is not a goddamn thing wrong with that, either. The main problems young single mothers run into have little to do with their own abilities, and a lot to do with running into prejudice and punishment at every turn. I think that the same prejudice that tsk tsks at young mothers, denies them financial support, kicks them out of school, thinks of them as whores and fools and "bad mothers" simply because they are poor and young, is behind the sitting in judgment over young women like LG, who want not to have babies yet. In other words, basically, we all think that "young girls shouldn't be having sex" and that therefore, if they do, they must be punished. If they decide to have abortions, we think that should be made as difficult as possible; if they decide not to have abortions, we think that should be made as difficult as possible.
Well, fuck all that bullshit. The fact of the matter is, young girls do sometimes get pregnant. It happens. Abortion is legal, having children is legal. Butt the fuck out and let these girls decide what to do for themselves, and if you're so goddamn concerned about it, offer to help. Advocate for providing financial support to single moms; advocate for young women's right to continue their education, even if they have children; argue with people who cluck cluck about young mothers; don't assume that every young woman you see with a little kid is a big sister or a nanny (and don't assume that, if she's the mama, that that's an awful pity); if you know a young woman who has a kid, offer to babysit once in a while. If she decides that adoption is the way she wants to go, support her in that (and don't pretend that it's an easy decision, going through forty weeks of pregnancy, with everyone treating you like a social pariah, risking your health and changing your body, only to give up the child you've borne at the end of the process, possibly never to see it again).
And for god's sake, if a thirteen-year old kid decides, "hey, I'm not up for all that," don't argue with her.
* Here, by the way, is another good piece Scott wrote about why our pie-in-the-sky idealism about parental notification laws doesn't actually work.
Update: Here's another piece by a formerly pro-life woman who carried a pregnancy to term and feels, well, a little justifiably angry at the Christian treatment she got for doing so. She also addresses that pesky distinction between "I'm not comfortable with abortion in X circumstance" and "mind your own goddamn business."
Posted at 2:46 PM
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